The pandemic that we all thought was a temporary period of chaos and uncertainty has achieved a level of permanence that is very much present today. As we approach the one-year anniversary of social distancing, health and safety guidelines, and rising COVID cases both locally and around the world, many of us wonder whether we will get to experience the ‘normal life’ we once knew. During the first few months of these sudden and drastic changes in our lives, we tried to adapt and accept staying at home, putting a pause to most of our usual activities, including work, school, and spending time with family and friends. For some, the quarantine and social distancing has been spent with the people who reside under the same roof, but for many others, staying at home has meant remaining completely alone. Some make this sacrifice for themselves if they have pre-existing conditions while others remain strictly quarantined for the sake of someone else that they care about.

These uncertain and unprecedented times elicit so many emotions in all of us. This is the first instance in our lifetimes where we have felt a very vivid fear for our lives and that of our loved ones. Loss, sadness, and worry has touched so many of us. Solutions and hope have often felt out of our control and completely out of reach. Grief is an emotion that has been making an appearance in many ways, whether through actual loss of loved ones or from plans we were no longer able to keep. Events such as engagements and weddings, birthdays, travel plans, concerts and get togethers have been put on hold or postponed. The unknown for many has been extremely stressful as well. Throughout this pandemic, I have been asked the following question in a variety of ways: “When will I be able to _________ again?” And the truth is, I just don’t know. None of us really know. And that element, of not knowing, can be worrisome.

So many of us are struggling with disconnection from those around us. Things that seemed fairly simple, such as calling a friend and grabbing coffee allowed us to stay connected. Visiting someone at work to see how their day was going or making plans on the weekend to go out for drinks. We didn’t have to think so much about social distancing, or the dangers of hugging or shaking hands, or of how many people we are immediately surrounded by, or if there is an “outdoor option”. We didn’t worry about how we would get somewhere to minimize exposure. We didn’t have to learn how to read the expressions of those around us with only half of their face. And we didn’t have to think about random daily activities potentially leading us to contracting a virus that we are still learning about. So many changes to what we used to experience, and now the impact on our feelings where isolation has become synonymous with safety.

According to PsychologyToday, “"Loneliness is the state of distress or discomfort that results when one perceives a gap between one's desires for social connection and actual experiences of it.” Loneliness can reduce cognitive ability as well, such as planning, organizing, and problem solving. Loneliness is certainly an emotion many of us have experienced recently, but what is interesting is that this emotion can surface regardless of our actual physical state. In other words, loneliness can set in despite spending the quarantine in your home, surrounded by family or loves ones; in an apartment building where you are exposed to your closest neighbors; at your work setting or anywhere else you are around people. At the same time, you can social distance at home, completely by yourself, but not feel any sense of loneliness. The reality is that loneliness comes from being socially, emotionally, and maybe even spiritually disconnected. It is a mental state rather than a physical state of being. Individuals experiencing changes and restrictions to their social lives can feel lonely in a way that has not been present before. We now have to work harder to actually stay connected in a safer way. Essentially, it is the quality of the social, emotional, and spiritual connection we maintain with loved ones that fulfills us and gives us purpose. This concept has become so clear during the many changes to daily life that we have experienced this year.

The silver lining in this is that the more we experience and learn from scientists and experts such as the Center for Disease Control and the World Health Organization, the more we are able to adapt and incorporate. According to Brené Brown, “Connection is why we’re here; it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives.” Given this, it is so important for us to stay connected in the true and genuine sense. Let’s make more phone calls, hop on more video chats, send more comforting text messages. Let’s show those we care about that we are thinking of them and let’s reach out even to acquaintances, neighbors, or co-workers who we suspect are alone. The human connection we share is what will get us all through these times and is pivotal to our own growth while staying engaged to those around us.