Perfectionism

Perfectionism is often associated with very high-performing, goal oriented individuals. A perfectionist works hard towards their goals and will not stop until the job is seamlessly completed, down to the last detail. Perfectionists can get far in our highly competitive society because they never settle, they are doers, and they seem to have a never-ending source of energy to keep working and keep pushing forward.

Do they ever run out of fuel? If you’ve ever observed a true perfectionist (or if you think you may be a perfectionist yourself), the answer is no; or at least, it does not appear that these high-achieving people ever throw in the towel. Perfectionists can be their own worst enemy, as they are their own harshest critics. 

The Downside to Perfectionism

The danger with the do-it-all, tireless disposition of the perfectionist is that these individuals are at great risk of suffering stress and emotional burnout. We can all strive for success and perfection, but the reality is that despite our hardest efforts, we will not always win. That is the law of life: We win some and we lose some. Perfectionists tend to win a bit more often than the average person due to their hard work and determination, but at the end of the day, they are human so they may not hit the target they aim for every time. In fact, many perfectionists will confess that they never quite feel that the final product of their work is good enough.

Perfectionists often struggle with accepting loss and failure or will work harder and longer to make up for any defeat. This can create a vicious cycle and eventually lead the perfectionist towards a downward spiral of nonstop work and little to no time for recovery, rest, and leisure. The recipe for emotional burnout is a high pressure situation (whether it is real or perceived), excess work, and not enough rest. This is often a way of life for perfectionists, creating a lifestyle that can really affect their physical and emotional health with time.

Another area of danger for perfectionists is self-esteem. At face value, perfectionists may seem like they think highly of themselves, as many of them may appear very put together and confident. However, perfectionists often have underlying self-esteem issues coupled with anxiety and/or depression at times. This occurs because since perfectionists feel like their work or their efforts are never good enough, they believe they must keep working until they reach what they believe is perfection. Oftentimes, this point of perfection is never fully realized, but the perfectionist often ends up settling for what they feel is pretty close to perfect. Deep down, however, they tend to always feel like their work is not good enough and ultimately, that they are not good enough. Many times, perfectionists were raised by very strict and/or highly critical parents and did not get much praise when they were growing up. In addition, perfectionists were often punished for failure or were not permitted to make mistakes. As a result, perfectionists tend to see themselves as flawed and inferior.

There are certain perfectionist traits that can be positive and lead to high productivity, achievement, and success. However, perfectionism is also a slippery slope because excessive perfectionism can be harmful to your wellbeing and quality of life. It is important to acknowledge and embrace both your strengths and weaknesses. Celebrate all of your wins in life, both big and small and accept failure as opportunities for growth.

If you suspect you struggle with or have questions about Perfectionism, feel free to contact my office.

After all, the first step to clarity and peace of mind is to #JustBegin